The Poetry of Lil Phillips

Laughing in the Looking Glass, Laughing on Thin Ice, Laughin' Thru the Wry, Laughing on a Bar Stool, and an anthology, Laughing on the Couch -

published by Lil Phillips, P.O. Box 145, Dennis, Mass. 02638

 

 

ON REACHING SIXTY-FIVE

 

Before my time runs out at last

Before my future joins my past

Let me have just one more blast.

 

Before I die and turn to dust,

Before my eyeballs start to rust

Let me once more savor lust.

 

Before my faculties all go

And vital juices cease to flow

Let me once more passion know.

 

Before the devil starts to gloat

Before death has me by the throat

Let me sow one more wild oat.

 

Before I cross the final portal

I want to be a sinful mortal

Let me bow out with a chortle.

 

Oh, dear me, my head is spinning

From all this foolish talk of sinning

I know I wouldn't last an inning.

 

THE LAST WORD

 

I used to be so shy and meek

when I was called

upon to speak.

My tongue would be tied,

my jaw would lock,

my hands would shake,

and my knees would knock,

so I took a course

in oratory

and now my friends

have cause to worry.

They fret and fume:

"Oh goodness gracious,

why must you be

so loquacious?"

They're longing for

the day to come

when I'll at last

be stricken dumb,

but even when

can't be heard,

I plan to have

the final word.

 

TO MY GRANDSON

 

I've been mother and daughter

And sister and wife

And all of these kinships

Were riddled with strife.

 

Generational conflicts

Disrupted the house

And fierce competition

With siblings and spouse.

 

But when I'm with my grandson,

Who's now in his teens,

We're kind to each other

And never make scenes.

 

The reason we're

Is as clear as can be.

I'm not raising him

And he's not raising me.

 

CHILDBIRTH

 

I'm f ull of joy

In spite of my girth

When I'm heavy with child

And due to give birth.

 

But, though I am svelte,

I'm always forlorn

When a new verse is

About to be born.

 

Childbirth is my body's

Spontaneous role.

A poem too often

Is wrenched from my soul.

 

CHANGING TIMES

 

They sealed their wedding with a kiss

and vowed to share eternal bliss.

Then their marriage fell apart

Bcause he had a CHANGE OF HEART.

When he approached the CHANGE OF LIFE

he left her for a younger wife

and pretty soon he'll have to face

he can't survive the CHANGE OF PACE.

 

If he should have a CHANGE OF MIND

he may be mortified to find

that three young men are in her spell.

For here the change of pace is swell.

 

MATES AND PRIMATES

 

Darwinians would have us think

That if they found the missing link

They'd prove that our progenitors

Walked around on all their fours.

 

Long ago the chimpanzees

Were swinging in our family trees.

Now some of us are swingers, too.

I'd love to know exactly who.

 

Just notice how gorillas' features

Resemble those of human creatures

And when they sit around and scratch

It's obvious our species match.

 

Some men who hate Darwinians

And comparison with simians

Go ape around a pretty dame

Without the slightest sign of shame.

 

And on my dates I often found

They try their best to monkey around.

Charles Darwin said it all began

With a baboon and an orangutan.

 

If you object to Darwin's thesis

Take a good look at a rhesus

And if you think that I am fibbin'

Look even closer at a gibbon.

 

FRENCH LIB

 

Though women's lib is here to stay

most men refuse to smooth its way.

Their attitude is "Tout de même,

When something's wrong, "cherchez la femme".

 

But women think that c'est a shame

to saddle them with all the blame

and they retort avec aplomb:

"Vous êtes nuts. Cherchez l'homme."

 

Some men find it à propos

To let their quips fall comme il faut

And if they're called an M C P

They shrug and mutter: "C'est la vie."

Among the men, it's laissez faire.

Between the sexes, c'est la guerre.

 

CRIME TIME

 

When I was sad I often cried.

I even thought of suicide.

In death it seemed that I would find

deliverance and peace of mind.

I told my friends that death's a cure

but they remarked: "You can't be sure."

Though sadness hurts, to die in vain

would be the cause of greater pain.

So I'll commit a lesser crime.

I'll hang around and kill some time.

 

WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE

 

Think of the awful emotions we're prey to:

especially those we often give way to.

 

We're jealous and greedy and lustful and mean

Slothful and angry and sometimes obscene.

 

We would surely acquire more peace of mind

If we were compassionate, gentle and kind.

 

In aeons of time, our span is so brief

It's senseless to cause so much anguish and grief.

 

So next time it happens that push comes to shove &endash;

Let's make a commitment to friendship and love.

 

If we are not careful, the whole human race

Will soon disappear without leaving a trace.

 

WHEN IM REINCARNATED

 

I hope that I'm reincarnated

Time and time again.

There are many things I want to do

Beyond my present ken.

 

I want to be a trial lawyer

And run the fastest mile,

To be a neurosurgeon,

And have a toothsome smile.

 

I want to be a ballerina

And a stage actress of note,

To be elected President

By a record landslide vote.

 

I want to climb the highest mountain

And excel in derring do,

To find a cure for cancer,

And the cold and Asian flu.

 

I want to solve the nation's problems

And write some deathless prose,

To win a beauty contest,

And to have a million beaus.

 

I want to be a poet laureate

And a daring jewel thief,

A piano virtuoso,

And a gallant Indian chief.

 

I want to be a dashing hero

And to have at least one brother,

But most of all I want to be

A grand and great grandmother.

 

AN ATHEIST'S PRAYER

 

Dear God, I must confess

That I'm an atheist

And I do not believe in you,

But if you do exist

Forgive your godless child

And listen to my plea.

Though I do not believe in you

Please shed your grace on me.

 

EPITAPH

 

It's a good idea to intersperse

Gloomy thoughts with some light verse.

When you're gravitating to self-pity

That's the time you should be witty.

There is no better epitaph

Than "Here lies one who liked to laugh."

 

Lil says of herself:

Lil Phillips is insecure, guilt-ridden and scared - but aren't we all? For therapy she writes light verse for dark moods and for heavy hearts.

 

She also says of herself:

Lil Phillips, who always laughs when she hurts, writes articles on the perils of being human. These have been published in the Washington Star, Boston Herald American, and The Register on Cape Cod.

 

Dedicated to Clara

rebel, dreamer, my mother

© by Lil Phillips 1983

 

Published by Lil Phillips

P.O. Box 145

Dennis, Mass. 02638

 

Printed on Cape Cod

By The Wayside Studio

South Yarmouth, Mass.

 

Click here to read a delightful comment on Lil Phillips by her grandson Mark Obrochta on coming across this page of his grandmother's wonderful poems!